Lookout Senator Reid! Cheney's Got a Gun!

Democrats and Little Bushy's right-hand man sparred off on Capital Hill today over the emergency spending bill the Democrats have been using as political leverage to force the President's hand on the management of the Iraq war. And if I were Senator Reid, I'd be afraid, very afraid; rumor has it that lawyer he shot was a closet-liberal that Cheney's commie-dar picked up a mile away. I'm not saying he did it on purpose - defending America against terrorists seems to be a subconscious tick for Cheney and what flag-loving American doesn't respect a man who shoots first and looks later? But that kind of mania doesn't bode well for Reid, and judging by Cheney's comments today I wouldn't don a hunting vest anytime soon (don't want to give the VeePee an excuse). Here's what he said:



“What’s most troubling about Senator Reid’s comments yesterday is his defeatism,” said Mr. Cheney. “And the timetable legislation that he is now pursuing would guarantee defeat. Maybe it is a political calculation.” He went on to say something to the effect of: the Democrats want the war to go badly because if it does they will win the next election, and to that I have this to say:

Too right, sir. I'm so tired of the Defeatist Democrats undermining the War on Terror and being generally un-American, so tired in fact that I've recently purchased a Hummer painted red and white blue to counter the "woe-is-me" attitude espoused all over the liberal media. And the blatant use of the War as propoganda for votes? Shocking, absolutely shocking. The Administration needs to fight back with a new wave of fabricated hero stories like that of Jessica Flynch and Pat Tillman, which coincidentally happened right after the Abu Gharaib scandal broke. I'm worried though that a couple feel-good stories won't be enough this time. Desperate times call for desperate measures, something on the order of an Iraqi rescuing 20 injured Marines while singing the pledge of allegiance.

These Democrats are so peace-hungry they're ignoring the vast strides we've made with the new Baghdad Security Plan (like McCain's tour of the market, for example!). They need to stop harping on all of the minor blips in the quest to bring democracy to the Middle East, the little snags like the 80 people that died today in the new-and-improved suicide bombings or the huge Berlin-esque wall we are currently building around Sunni and Shia neighborhoods, which are apparently now considered "gated communities." Who wouldn't want to live in one of those? Sure millions of Iraqis have fled the country in the largest mass-exodus in 50 years, but you know what that means? Great housing prices. It's the only place I can afford real estate right now anyway because of the inflated market at home. Even Laura Bush agrees. I am so there.



Still, for a spineless commie Reid had some fighting words of his own. “I’m not going to get into a name-calling match with somebody who has a 9 percent approval rating,” were his exact words. SNAP! Now that's some drama, way better than the episode of House I was going to pirate off of Limewire tonight. A cheap shot though, to be fair. It's not Cheney's fault he looks like Senator Palpatine, or that he's completely lost touch with reality. Besides, he's bound to die any day now - Reid should play nice.