Most Worthless Blog Award

The Conservative Tuna: an idiot's guide to understanding the political universe

So in the interest of checking out what other people were bullshitting about on their blogs, I surfed around the excel file of blogs and came to this little gem: Conservative Tuna, which perhaps not so coincidentally happens to be an anagram for "Rove: A Navie's Cunt." I'm not sure what that means, but maybe that is fitting since none of what TunaCon writes seems to be any more coherent.

Reading a couple entries of that thing reminds me of listening to Bill O'Reilly, except Billy is funny and entertaining. The best analogy I can give to the experience of reading TunaCon's blog is the act of bludgeoning myself over the head with a mallet labelled "dumb ideas" until I pass out. Three entries in, I felt like I do after I see a shitty movie: I wanted some monetary compensation for the 5 minutes of my life that I had wasted.

Which brings me to the links on the side of his page - FoxNews? Seriously? There is a reason why no conservative papers (with the exception of the Wall Street Journal) ever win any awards: they're terrible, overtly politically biased (I concede that all papers have a bias in what they choose to report, but the best are objective in how they report what they do), and generally spineless. True patriotism is standing up for the values of this country when those values are in jeopardy, not bending over to give some red-white-and-blue fellatio to the Bush administration.

Now, I'm not saying that CNN is any better - in fact, they're both equally worthless. The only difference between those two networks is that watching one is like beating yourself senseless with a hammer and sickle, and watching the other is like beating yourself senseless with a swastika. Like TunaCon, they engage in boring and narrow-minded punditry that ignores the complexity of any issue actually worth talking about. And all three take themselves too seriously: no one cares what you think, partly because you're points are largely ideological ramblings with no factual basis, and partly because you're just not that good at making them anyway.